The Way Out

Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life. – J.K. Rowling

Sometimes the hardest, most loving thing we can do, is to let go when someone needs help . . .

If the situation involves a compulsion or addiction that cannot be stopped no matter how sound the external advice or the effort of intervention by loved ones, then the person in need is on a collision course with rock bottom. Somewhere inside, they haven’t examined and made peace with an unconscious part of themselves that has been desperately trying to get their attention.

Our consciousness is always striving for wholeness; it’s always seeking to make conscious those unconscious places within that need attending. And it doesn’t discriminate, it will manifest some of our hardest life challenges to get our attention . . . it will allow us to hit bottom, whatever that is for each of us, if we’ve ignored the more subtle signs along the way.

The best way out is always through. – Robert Frost

I’ve been to bottom myself. I’ve clawed my way back by sheer will and the weight of responsibility, but I’m better for it. Not only because I’m well aware of my mettle, but also what I really value and what’s important in my life. Rock bottom gave me profound clarity.

Now, as I bear witness to someone I love hitting their bottom, I find myself facing one of the hardest dilemmas of my life: do I throw a life line knowing they have yet to learn the lessons that created their challenges to begin with? If that life line quite literally enables the destructive behavior, how could I in good conscience feed the addiction? Or do I step back and trust that on the other side of bottom, they too will have the kind of clarity to make better choices moving forward?

My decision comes down to how much of a life line I can actually offer . . .

To help others find and live from their inner wisdom is not only my life’s work, but my passion. I know what’s possible when we choose to transform ourselves to meet our potential. I know that as desperate as my loved one is now, they could live a much more fulfilling life if they were to own up to how their circumstances are of their own creation. But, too many times my guidance has fallen on deaf ears; too many times they have turned their back on the subtle signs. The only help I can offer now, will be on the other side of rock bottom, when they’re ready to rebuild life from a place of heightened awareness rather than avoidance.

We cannot save anyone who hasn’t chosen to save themselves.  The way out for all of us is through that which we have neglected, avoided, denied, or otherwise not taken full ownership of and responsibility for. To be whole, to heal, to bounce back, and even bounce forward from rock bottom is to make conscious and grapple with the unconscious inner demons of our own creation.